Was MA$E retarded?

I guess you could say, "Is MA$E retarded?" but I prefer thinking of Mr. Betha in the past tense since he was such an integral part of my adolescence. Either way, this particular thought crosses my mind from time to time and since my pseudonym is Diddy, who better than me to analyze this sensitive topic?

Let's break retardation into three categories: Speech, Clothing, and Actions. For if you speak like a retard, dress like a retard, and act like a retard, well, you know the rest.

Speech - Listening to MA$E speak is kind of like listening to this kid after his dentist appointment. He has a very slow drawl which, if by itself, wouldn't be so bad. But combined with a total lack of coherency when actually using words, it offers up some of the worst rap lyrics in history. For instance:

Yo, you better do what I say yo
Get this through your head-o
Long time comin', but waitin for my date-o
My man Blake-O, leave the scene hardly awake-o

-- I Really Like It

Cats who don't make dough, I can't affiliate wit 'em

I'm dyin from a sickness known as Willie-ism

-- N***** Wanna Act

Obviously that is a small sample size, but if you are a fan of hip-hop at all, you should have some familiarity with albums like Harlem Word and Double Up. If you're a fan of hip-hop you also know that, although lyrics from these albums and other MA$E collabos are contrite and senseless, it's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the rap game. Check out the site Snacks and Shit for some comparatively bad lyrics. So even though I'd love to claim retardation on this charge, I think MA$E probably places in the fiftieth percentile when it comes to rapper IQs. Verdict: Not Retarded.

Clothing - What. The. Fuck.

Look, I get the fact that Puff can be persuasive and all, but if any of your friends came to you and said "Hey man, let's go to school tomorrow wearing the same exact red jumpsuits" you'd probably call poison control to make sure they hadn't accidentally ingested a mind altering substance. And this is coming from the guy who wore sweatpants to school through the 5th grade. Verdict: Mild Retardation.

Actions - I know there are all kinds of rumors of why MA$E left the rap game to pursue life as a minister. Beef with Puff, a higher calling, death threats from Cam'ron, etc. Now I wasn't going to question the man's motives when it comes to giving himself up to God, but then I saw this website. Verdict: Maybe smarter than we thought.

So even though I'd like to paint Mason Betha with the retard brush, he doesn't quite measure up. On a scale of Corky to Einstein, he probably falls somewhere between Maxine Waters and Ron Artest. And definitely above any cast member on MTV's new show, Jersey Shore.